What You're In For

Recently, a blog I read had a post titled What You're In For when it comes to having a baby.

I couldn't have said it better myself. The love, the exhaustion, the advice, stopping to enjoy the small things, and lastly, investing in comfortable clothes (especially if you are nursing!)

I told someone the other day that even though I have been a mom for only three weeks, I already feel like I could write my own book on my experiences. Well... on my experiences with PRESTON. So many things I have experienced in the last three weeks aren't in any books, websites or Google searches, or were a part of the HUGE amount of advice I received prior to Preston's arrival. In fact, one of the best things I did was put the books away. None of them have the answers. Babies are all so different. I just had to rely on my instinct and Brian's instinct and have the confidence that we know our little boy.

I thought I would take a minute to add to the What You're In For list based on our experiences, partly because I don't want to be one of those that hands out unsolicited advice to pregnant friends. Plus, my blog is kind of my life scrapbook and I want to remember how I felt as a new mom.

1. Enjoy your pregnancy. Seriously, enjoy it. Pregnancy is wonderful. You have all the joy and excitement of a new mom, but the freedom of a regular person. If you think you aren't sleeping now, get ready. Go out to eat as much as you can, go on dates with each other, run errands, and stay as active as possible. I stayed so busy during my pregnancy, that I swear it is the reason that three weeks post-delivery, I am back in my pre-maternity jeans. I really enjoyed pregnancy, and will always look back on it happily.

2. Labor and delivery - it is completely out of your control. Let it go. It is totally up to your baby. Think about that. When I was pregnant, I was progressing on my own, getting great reports, and thought for sure Preston was coming vaginally. When things didn't work out like I planned and I was told I would be having a c-section I was so bummed. Looking back, that was so silly. I should have never been upset. Preston wasn't coming without a c-section. Now, I don't even think about how he came into the world. He is here, he is healthy and he is ours.

3. Newborns are hard. And don't feel guilty for thinking it. Preston's first two weeks of life were some of the hardest, longest, exhausting (physically and mentally), scary, and overwhelming days of my entire life. I felt guilty because I had a beautiful, healthy baby boy... why was I not enjoying this more? People kept telling me, it will get better, it will get better, but I couldn't see the forest through the trees. Before I knew it, my body started adjusting to no sleep, my hormones calmed down, and I realized, "Hey, I CAN do this." But it took me a good two weeks to feel that way.

4. Breastfeeding - this is the one that I could really go on about. But of course, I won't. All I will say is that I'm still not really enjoying breastfeeding yet. It's painful, time consuming, and left me with a lonely feeling. It's not something anyone can help me with. How long I will breastfeed, I don't know, but I don't plan on giving up anytime soon. I feel too invested, because Preston and I both have worked hard at it and are slowly getting better. No part of breastfeeding comes easily or quickly. It requires patience, which for those of you that know me, is not a personality characteristic of mine. Preston and I faced our own challenges with breastfeeding. My body couldn't (and still can't) keep up with his incessant need to eat and we still have to supplement with formula occasionally. Brian was awesome through this, because at first, I was bummed because breastfeeding didn't go like I envisioned and we were having to give him formula. But, my husband, in his infinite wisdom said, "Cami, it's the difference between steak and cheeseburger." He is really right. If it doesn't go like you plan, it's fine. In the words of our pediatrician, "It doesn't matter what you do. He is going to grow up. That's what humans do."

I do want to say that while being a new mom is scary, I see this face and I melt.

This may sound silly, but he looks at me with those big blue eyes and I see so much love for his mommy. Sometimes I feel so inadequate... I think, "Preston, you are so precious to me. How can your dad and I ever give you what you deserve?" But then I think about all the people that love him and know that he has so many things in his life to look forward to. I think we're doing a pretty good job so far and through the trials of raising a newborn, I've learned that I have more patience than I thought I had, more love than I knew I could give, and am a lot stronger than I thought I was.

Preston - you are HARD, but your daddy and I love you more than you will ever know.